The ZoSan Detective Agency
by KoloheSanji
Summary: THIS IS NOT A YAOI STORY! This is going to be an AU Private Investigator, Mystery storyline! Set in present day Hawaii. Sanji and Zoro are two friends with a knack for finding people, solving crimes and getting into trouble. A lot of trouble.
1. Office Door

**Author's Notes: ** I don't own any of the One Piece characters. They are all owned by the absolutely excellent Eiichiro Oda!!!

This is an AU story, and is not intended to be a YAOI story with Zoro and Sanji. (Yes, there may be yaoi-ish situations, as they are very good friends and business partners. However, despite the name of the agency...NO SEX!!!)

Also, this story may take a while until the next chapter is up. (Depends on what comes to mind at the time...)

Now, onto the story...

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The tall slender blonde watched as the darkly tanned man approached from down the hallway, carrying a piece of paper in his left hand and a toolbox in his right.

Dressed in a royal blue dress-shirt, black tie and black suit, the blonde pushed away from the wall that he had been leaning against.

Looking from the piece of paper he was carrying, to the office door number, then to the blonde, the man asked, "Mr...Sanji?"

"Sanji...just 'Sanji,'" smiled the blonde.

Glancing down at the paper once more, the tanned man looked up at the blonde and asked, "are you sure you want this on the door?"

Raising the curly eyebrow over his exposed right-eye, the blonde questioned, "Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, no-no-no...It's just most businesses of this type...They like to use their full names..."

Shrugging, the blonde replied. "Well, my partner's name is 'Roronoa Zoro.' So, you can see where that would be a problem. If we used 'Zoro,' people would expect him to be dressed in a black cape and armed with a sword. And, if you use 'Roronoa'...Well, 'Roronoa and Sanji' just doesn't have that ring to it."

Nodding the tanned man knelt in front of the office door, and putting down his toolbox, he began to get to work.

XXXXX

It was late in the afternoon as the muscular, green-haired man strolled leisurely down the hall. Dressed only in a white t-shirt, blue jeans and boots, the man's heavy footsteps rang throughout the hallway.

Yes, he had promised Sanji that he would be in before noon, and it was already 2-o'clock.

But, damn it. He was still suffering from jet-lag after flying across one continent, and half-way across the Pacific Ocean.

And, this warm weather was just not helping him to stay awake.

Yawning as he reached for the doorknob, the man could not help but stop to admire the words etched on the frosted glass window of the office door.

**ZoSan Detective Agency, Inc.**

Roronoa Zoro

Sanji

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** Author's Notes: ** Sorry, that this is so short! Just trying to set up the background of the story, right now... Mahalo and Aloha!


	2. Welcome to the Office

**Author's Notes: ** I don't own any of the One Piece characters. They are all owned by the absolutely excellent Eiichiro Oda!!!

**Zo-zemonkeySan:** Thank you!!! As far as where I'm from...I ain't saying! LOL!!! However, as you can tell from my comments and name, I'm not exactly a stranger to the area... Hahahahahaha!!! (Zoro: (still sleeping) "Zzzzzzzzzz...", KS: "Darn heat!!!")

**Oni Giri Slash:** Thank you!!! I hope you like the way that the story is going. Believe me, if some things in this chapter doesn't make sense, it will soon...

**Swedishpiratefan:** Thank you!!! I just hope you guys like the story as it progresses.

Now, back to the story...

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"Where the hell were you?!" Snapped the blonde as he flung the door wide-open.

Hand still extended to where the doorknob had been just a second before, the green-haired Zoro stood, mouth agape, with a 'What the Hell is Your Problem' look on his face. "I overslept," came the lame reply.

Kicking the door shut in his partner's face, the blonde disappeared behind the layer of frosted glass and wood.

Fury rising within him, the green-haired man slowly pulled open the door, and very pronouncedly clicked it shut behind himself.

The office was a rather bare, one-room number. On either side of the office was a bare wall with a desk sitting in front of it. To the right was a tasteful, traditional wooden oak desk, with a black leather office chair behind it. To the left sat a metal monstrosity that looked more like a work bench than a desk, with a Harley Davidson chair that resembled a stool with a leather saddle on it. On the far side of the room, opposite the door, was a large pane glass window that looked out towards the mountains and the city below.

"Okay," growled the green-haired man, as he walked over to his desk to sit down, "what's got your nuts all up in a twist."

Scowling from behind his desk, the blonde replied, "You promised me that you were going to make an effort."

"I am. I'm here, aren't I?"

"You're two hours late! Not to mention, you forgot to call the phone company to hook-up the phones! So, we can't even call out of the office!"

"Well then, I guess there's no need for me to be here anyway..."

Standing up from his seat, the blonde walked over and proceeded to kick the heavy metal desk, moving it a half a foot back towards Zoro.

"OI!!! What the hell?!?"

"I don't know why I brought you along with me."

"Because you need me, and because Zeff wouldn't have let you come out here without a babysitter!"

"Zeff wouldn't--?" The blonde didn't finish his question, instead he hissed back. "Zeff doesn't control me. I do what the hell I want, and I go where the hell I want!"

"Yeah, right." Laughed Zoro, then deciding to add a bit more insult to the injury, he added. "You're nothing but a spoiled brat..."

Rushing behind the metal desk, the blonde aimed a well placed kick for the green-haired head. Used to such outbursts from the blonde, Zoro ducked the blow and started laughing. "You're going to have to do better than that..."

Thinking that the blonde was finished, Zoro didn't anticipate Sanji sweeping his leg back along the previous path, catching him on the cheek.

"You Son-of-a-...," growled Zoro as he clutched at his bruised cheek.

"Who's laughing now!" Snapped the blonde as he turned to walk back towards his desk.

Without any warning, the blonde's legs seemed to give out from beneath him and he collapsed to the floor.

"Sanji!" Came the concerned shout from the green-haired man as he ran to the blonde's side.

"Don't touch me!" Screamed the blonde as Zoro tried to help him up to his feet.

Favoring his hands and arms, Sanji slowly got up and walked back to his chair.

"Ah, I don't need this shit." Came the very simple, and angry statement from the green-haired man as he stormed out of the office, leaving the blonde on his own.

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**Author's Notes:** Thank you very much to everyone who are reading (and/or) reviewing this story. Sorry, I know it's coming along slowly (but since it's kind of new territory, it's taking a bit longer to form). LOL! However, I do hope that you are enjoying it. Mahalo and Aloha!


	3. Lost Dreams

**Author's Notes: ** I don't own any of the One Piece characters. They are all owned by the absolutely excellent Eiichiro Oda!!!

**THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all those who are reading and/or reviewing this story!!! I hope that you are enjoying it!**

**Smallstream:** Thank you!!! Very good questions! (Part of it is answered in this chapter, and part will be answered later. Due to some of the weapons laws, he can't have his obvious weapons of choice...or can he? Heh-heh-heh...)

**Lady Geuna:** Thank you!!! A-ha!!! You know they found that camera in their bathroom!!! JUST KIDDING!!! Thank you for coming along on this story. If you're reading this, I know it's going to be hard trying to stay ahead of you...

**Sanji-kunZoro-san:** Thank you!!! Not into Yaoi? That's cool. It's definitely not for everyone. As for me, the most important things are the story and the relationships of the characters. If a yaoi storyline doesn't add anything to the story, I won't include it...and in the case of this story, it wouldn't. (This story is not intended to be Yaoi. HOWEVER, I honestly believe that a reader will take away from a story what they bring to it. So, if they want to see yaoi in it, they will...if they don't, they won't. Not a problem for me, I'm just happy if they are enjoying the stories.)

**Eileen-san:** Thank you!!! And yes, it's going to be interesting seeing how these two work together. Right now, Sanji just has to get Zoro to WORK! Period! LOL!!!

**Oni Giri Slash:** Thank you!!! I couldn't help it. The name just sounded so perfect for an detective/private investigator agency (despite what it may mean in the fanfic world). This is one of those cases where the title of the story came along before the concept of the story even surfaced. LOL!!!

**WARNING!!! Ahoy! Foul language ahead!!! You have thus been warned... (Just remember, tempers are running high. And, unfortunately, so is someone's language...)**

Now, onto the next chapter...

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Sitting at his desk, Sanji gritted his teeth as the jabbing pain in his hands and arms slowly began to give way to the medication he had taken.

_"Peripheral neuropathy,"_ thought the blonde to himself. Such a nice clinical sounding name for something that had thrown his whole life into disarray and complete turmoil.

Until the moment he had heard those words, he thought his whole life was perfectly planned out.

Zeff was training him to take over his business, the chain of seafood restaurants that he had created all over the world. After all, out of all the kids Zeff had taken off of the streets and raised, he had been Zeff's prodigy. He had learned from the master himself, and could not only duplicate, but in some cases surpass Zeff's cooking. The old man had been proud of him, and had expected him to take over as his heir apparent.

However, as he entered his mid-teens, Sanji noticed a tingling sensation in his hands. At first he thought it was nothing, but as the months went by the tingling turned to burning. Sometimes causing him to drop pans and plates, which would infuriate Zeff who thought he was just being clumsy.

Thinking that it was something simple, the blonde went to the doctor, expecting a simple cure. After all, wasn't there always a simple cure for little aches and pains?

After all the tests were finished, the only thing the doctors could come up with was the diagnosis of Peripheral Neuropathy.

_"Sorry Sanji, we don't have a cure. However, we can try and treat it, if the pain gets bad...What?...No...We don't know what caused it...We think it's probably genetic...And since you were an orphan, and we don't know who your parents were...I don't think we can trace that...Sorry, Sanji..."_

For a while, Sanji had hoped that he could continue with his dream of being a chef. However, as the pain worsened, the blonde was forced to give up on that dream.

Zeff still wanted him to stick around, but to be around a kitchen and not be able to cook...that was pure torture.

Sinking into his seat, the blonde didn't want to risk standing up. While the pills always helped to somewhat numb the pain enough to get by, it also had the effect of throwing his world just slightly off kilter.

Closing his eyes, the blonde wished hard to be able to sleep. To just put the pain aside and be able to give in to blessed unconsciousness.

_To just sleep..._

XXXXX

Walking past the restaurants in the lobby of the office building, Zoro walked outside into the street and proceeded to storm about, making faces but not saying anything.

_"Dammit, why do I let that asshole get to me!" _the green-haired man's brain was yelling to itself. _"I know I shouldn't let him piss me off, but dammit!!! He's such an asshole!!! Why the hell did Zeff send me to babysit that little shithead?!?"_

Then as he looked at his reflection in one of the glass windows, the obvious answer came to him.

_"Because he trusts you...and because he knows that you wouldn't let anything happen to his little Golden Boy..."_

Zoro knew that he owed the old man a lot. Zeff had taken him in, and noticed that he had a penchant for getting into trouble and fighting. So, what did the old man do? He sent him to the finest dojos to learn how to fight properly, and to learn how to control his anger. If it hadn't been for that old man, he would most likely have ended up in prison, or dead.

_"But why the hell did he have to watch the Little Shit?!?"_

Again, the obvious answer came to him in his reflection.

_"Because the 'Little Shit' would die on his own..."_

Zoro had seen it before. When the pain hit, the kid couldn't even hold his hand steady enough to dial a simple phone number...

_"Aw, SHIT!!!"_ Thought the green-haired man as another obvious thought hit him.

Why would the kid have been so quick to lose his temper? One, because he was tired from traveling. Two, he was stressed out from trying to get everything up and running in the office. And, three, when one and two hit...number three was sure to follow, another flare up in his hands.

Walking back into the office building, Zoro pressed the button for the elevator when his cellphone went off.

Looking down at the display, a harsher expletive came to his mind, but he didn't voice it. "Why the hell are you calling me?"

"Zoro?" The tentative voice from a woman answered, "Is Sanji there?"

"No."

"Where is he?"

"Not here."

"Can you tell him I called? I think I have a case for him."

"You do know we're in Hawaii, right?" The elevator had finally arrived.

"So am I."

"What?" Came the surprised voice from Zoro as he hit the button for his floor.

"Just tell him I called, okay?"

"I'll think about it." As the elevator doors shut, the reception for his phone died, effectively cutting off the call.

"Witch!" Shouted the green-haired man as he put the phone back in his pocket.

Of all the people to be here, it had to be that orange-haired succubus! It wasn't enough that she had to break his heart. Oh no! She had to latch on to Sanji when the kid was rising through the ranks of Zeff's hand trained chefs, but as soon as the news broke about the kid's illness, she had packed up her little bag of tricks and was gone.

"Witch!" Zoro shouted again for good measure as the elevator doors slid open, and he walked out.

Reaching the office, he quietly opened the door and walked into the room. Casting a worried glance at his partner, eyes closed and apparently sleeping, Zoro walked behind the oak desk to just make sure that the kid was okay.

"Sorry, Zoro..." Came the words from the exhausted blonde.

Patting the half-asleep man on his head, Zoro couldn't help but smile a bit to himself. Whether he liked it or not, this pain-in-the-ass kid (and yes, they were the same age, but he still thought of Sanji as his kid brother) and the old man were the closest thing to family that he had.

Walking back to his desk, Zoro sat down on his chair and pulled out his cellphone.

_"Well, if nothing else, I guess I can at least set an appointment to have the office phones hooked up..."_

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**Author's Notes:** Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far! Thank you very much for reading and/or reviewing!!! Mahalo and Aloha!


	4. Going Home

**Author's Notes: THANK YOU for everyone who are reading and reviewing this story! I'm just hoping that you guys like it! (Sorry, it's moving so slowly...)**

**Eileen-san:** Thank you!!! Just trying to preserve the close relationship that they seem to have in the show. (They do fight a lot like siblings, LOL!!!)

**Smallstream:** Thank you!!! And, I'll try to keep the updates as frequently as I can...

**Oni Giri Slash:** Thank you!!! Actually, for a while I was thinking about writing Sanji with diabetes...but, decided against that... As for the heartbreak, there's always two sides to the story...or three...

**Bishieluv:** Thank you!!! From what I've seen in almost EVERY good story (TV, films, novels, etc.), there ALWAYS tends to be some type of 'yaoi-ish' feeling to any 'male-male' relationship. And, I'm NOT talking about the 'SEX' thing...I'm talking about the 'COMPASSION' between the characters. If any male is unable to have that type of compassion for other males...I don't think I would EVER want to be around him. Why? Because chances are, he won't have that type of compassion for ANYONE (male or female).

Now, onto the next chapter...

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By the time that Zoro awoke, the sun had already set, casting a purplish-orange across the mountain top in the distance.

Raising his head off of his desk, the green-haired man stretched and yawned as he got up from his chair.

Snapping on the florescent office lights, Zoro walked over and tried to nudge the blonde awake.

"Oi," no response. "Oi, Dartboard Eyebrow, get up."

The exposed right eyebrow of the blonde twitched as the eye beneath it snapped open and glared at the man hovering above him.

"What do you want, MARIMO?" Hissed the blonde.

Zoro's smirked, unsuccessfully trying to hide his anger. While the name didn't bother him as much anymore, the memories that it tended to conjure up, did. It was a name that the she-witch and the kid had found one day, while they were studying for their Japanese language class. It had been a month before the kid finally told him what the name meant, and it took the kid a few days after that until the black-eye that Zoro gave him was no longer visible.

"It's late, we should be getting home."

Slipping his pills into his pocket, the blonde followed the green-haired man out of the office and into the surrounding night.

XXXXX

Pulling open the door to their apartment, the green-haired man entered first, followed closely by the slender blonde who lightly kicked the wooden door closed.

It was a small place by some people's standards, but to Sanji it was all he could afford at the moment, and it was comfortable enough for them to live in. With a full working kitchen, a dining and living room area, two bedrooms, two full bathrooms and a washer and dryer, the place came out to about a grand-and-a-half a month. Not too shabby.

Yes. If he asked, Zeff would probably have bought them a place to live. However, it would have come with a lot of 'conditions,' and Sanji wasn't about to live by other people's rules.

"Are you hungry?" Asked the blonde as he walked into the kitchen.

"There's some Cup-a-Noodles in the cupboard..." Answered Zoro as he slipped into the bathroom.

Sanji scowled in the direction that the green-haired man had left, as he pulled out a few vegetables and a slab of meat from the refrigerator. Tentatively washing the vegetables, the blonde pulled out his wooden chopping board and a large butcher knife from the drawer.

As he started to cut the vegetables, the blonde felt what was like little jolts of electricity ripping through his fingers each time the knife hit the board, making his progress slow and laborious.

Returning from the bathroom, Zoro immediately grabbed the knife from the blonde. "Oi, what the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm not eating that crap."

"It's not crap," muttered Zoro as he nudged the blonde away and started cutting up the vegetables with amazing speed and precision.

"Too big," quipped Sanji, "you have to cut it smaller..."

"Shut up," growled Zoro, "it's fine as it is." After he finished cutting up the meat, Zoro washed his hands and turned to Sanji. "There you go."

"Thanks," muttered the blonde.

Pulling his wok from out of a cupboard, the blonde began to cook.

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**Author's Notes: **Thank you for all those reading and/or reviewing this story!!! All reviews are greatly appreciated, and so are all the hits! Mahalo and Aloha!


	5. Witch is the Real Truth?

**Author's Notes: THANK YOU for everyone who are reading and reviewing this story! I'm just hoping that you guys like it! (I'm basically flying by the seat of my pants on this one because I don't have time to really sit down and work that much on it...so, I am literally at the whim of the characters and on this ride with everyone else. So, we'll see where it goes...okay?)**

**Oni Giri Slash:** Thank you!!! I know, but I had to give him a reason for leaving that profession and becoming a detective. And, unfortunately, that was the reason.

**Donkey and Skunk:** Thank you!!! I agree with you! I really do believe that a reader brings a lot to a story, on their own. This way they can interpret a story the way that they want to, which makes the experience even more enjoyable! And yes, there's one coming up in this chapter!

**Eileen-san:** Thank you!!! Here it is! Here it is!

**Smallstream:** Thank you!!! I'll try to update as soon as I can...when I can.

Okay, now onto the next chapter...

XXXXX

After dinner, the green-haired man cleared off the dishes and washed them.

"Oi! You forgot to dry them!" Growled the aggravated blonde.

"Why?" Asked Zoro as he looked at the filled dish rack. "What's the sense of having THAT if you can't just let it air dry?"

As the blonde stood up and made his way to the kitchen entrance, Zoro relented and grabbed a dish towel.

"Geez! You're such a pain-in-the-ass!"

"No," replied the blonde, "I just like my kitchen to be well kept."

"OUR kitchen."

"You don't pay rent."

"I have to live with YOU...that's payment enough." Then, after a moment of silence, Zoro added, "by the way, the witch called today."

"Nami called? You didn't tell me that she called! Give me your phone. I have to call her. And don't call her a

witch. She's a wonderful woman. In no way is she a witch..."

"Stop babbling, you idiot." Muttered Zoro as he reluctantly handed over his phone.

After slowly jabbing at the buttons for a few minutes, the frustrated blonde finally thrust the phone back at Zoro. Shaking his head, the green-haired man put the towel and a plate down as he took the phone back and started to scroll through his 'received calls' list.

"You really do suck at anything mechanical, don't you?" Teased Zoro as he hit the 'send' button.

Grabbing the phone from Zoro's hands, Sanji glared at him until he heard someone on the other end of the phone connection.

"Hello?" It was a male voice.

Frowning, the blonde asked, "may I speak to Nami, please?"

After a slight pause, the voice asked, "Sanji, is that you?"

"Yes, it is." Answered Sanji, the enthusiasm now missing from his tone. "Hi, Luffy."

"Hold on! Don't hang up! I'll get her!"

After a minute another voice came over the phone.

"Sanji?"

"And how is my Swan doing?" Sanji's voice was once again cheerful and bright, forcing Zoro to make 'gagging' signs by pretending to force his fingers down his throat. Glaring at the other man, the blonde tried to ignore Zoro's attempts at 'sign language.'

"I'm okay. I'm just surprised that Zoro actually told you that I called."

"Yes. A little late, but he finally told me."

"I think I may have a case for you guys...Remember Usopp?"

"Zeff's PR guy?...Yeah, I remember him."

"Well, about a week ago he disappeared...and this morning I received a phone call..."

"What do they want?"

"A hundred thousand."

"For a Public Relations guy?" Sanji started laughing.

"It's not funny...You know darn well that these kinds of thing are bad for business."

"'These kind of--?'...WHAT 'kind of things?'"

"Gambling..."

"...Couldn't fly out to Vegas like everyone else, huh?..."

A very long silent pause, then Nami spoke up. "I'm really worried about him."

Another long pause before Sanji continued. "You still love him, don't you?"

"It was NEVER like that...Besides, it was YOU who broke up with ME, remember?...Look, Zeff told me to call you, so I'm calling...I'll leave all the information I have with Luffy. If you want to take the case, fine. If not, let me know and I'll make other arrangements. Good bye."

Finishing placing the dishes back in the cupboards, the green-haired man retrieved his phone from the blonde. "The Witch shot you down again, didn't she?"

Glaring, Sanji snapped, "Stop calling her that! It was MY fault that we broke up, NOT hers."

"Bullshit. The minute she found out about your hands..."

"You don't know shit!" Yelled Sanji, "I broke up with her because she deserves someone better!"

"Someone better?!" Zoro's voice was now raised to evenly match Sanji's shouting. "She's nothing but a conniving witch that's trying to sleep her way to the top!"

"Take that back!" Screamed Sanji as he aimed a kick for Zoro's head.

Blocking the kick, the green-haired man grabbed the blonde's leg and pulled, throwing Sanji off balance and giving Zoro a chance to get behind the smaller man and restrain him in a bear-hug.

"She dumped me for you! And after you, she hooked up with the next idiot she could find! Let's face it, you just beat her to the punch, that's all!" Growled Zoro at the struggling man.

"She dumped you because you RAN AROUND behind her back!"

"I DIDN'T RUN AROUND!...It was only ONCE...and that cheerleader slipped a micky in my drink!"

Bringing his head straight back, Sanji hit Zoro in the face with the back of his head, forcing the green-haired man to let go of him.

Turning to face Zoro, who was now sporting a bloody nose, Sanji emphasized his next statement by poking his finger in the green-haired man's chest. "For the final time, let me set the record straight! I broke up with her because I didn't want to be a burden! She did not break up with me! Furthermore, she DIDN'T want to break up with me! She kept telling me that we could work past my...handicap! I BROKE UP WITH HER! GOT IT?!"

Face red and breathing heavily, Sanji didn't give Zoro a chance to answer as he spun around and stormed off into his bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.

"Good night, Asshole!" Shouted Zoro behind him.

XXXXX

Collapsing on his bed, the blonde felt the stabbing pain flare up in his arms and fingers from his fight earlier that night.

Digging into his pocket, Sanji brought out the container of pills.

_"I don't want to be a burden to her...or anyone else for that matter..."_

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**Author's Notes: **Thank you for all those reading and/or reviewing this story!!! All reviews are greatly appreciated, and so are all the hits! Mahalo and Aloha!


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